


If I Knew How To Say I Love You

by marvelbabe



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Mutual Pining, Other, connor is CUTE, more tags to be added later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-19 07:27:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14869337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelbabe/pseuds/marvelbabe
Summary: A series of snippets following Connor and the reader on their journey to one another. All these prompts take place after Connor’s deviancy and follow the pacifist run. Following the, "100 Ways to Say I Love You" prompt. Rating will change for future chapters. Currently gender neutral reader.





	1. Pull Over, Let Me Drive For Awhile

**Author's Note:**

> cars in the future are weird my dude  
> Prompts can be found here: http://p0ck3tf0x.tumblr.com/post/98502010026/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you  
> Join me on Tumblr: delsinsrowes.tumblr.com (pester me just in case I'm ever late to upload)

_“Pull over.  Let me drive for awhile.”_

Your small corner at the station was overflowing with papers – reports that needed filing, evidence that needed looking over, and other miscellaneous things that you probably should’ve done days ago but couldn’t find the motivation to do so.

You sighed, your hands coming up to rub small circles at your temples. As much as you loved your job, you hated the menial work that came with it.

“Good evening detective.” Connor’s voice interrupts your thoughts and you give him a small smile when your eyes meet.

“Hey, Connor. You have more papers for me?” You gesture to the manila folder in his hands, trying to keep the disappointment out of your voice but Connor’s curious head tilt lets you know you’ve failed.

“These files pertain to the case Lieutenant Anderson and I have been assigned, that’s actually why I’m talking to you,” he opens the file and hands you a single piece of paper, “the android we’re looking for is suspected to have ten victims, he—”

“ _Ten_?!” Your voice cuts through Connor’s informative tone. You look up at him again, this time your eyes wide in shock. “Why aren’t you out investigating. Where’s Hank?”

He meets your gaze with steady eyes. “Since the revolution and changes to the law Lieutenant Anderson, along with the rest of the station, has seen an influx of cases as I’m sure you know,” he shoots a quick glance down at your desk which causes you to straighten in your seat. “I need your help. We know the suspect isn’t far but following his trail has proven to be… time consuming. I’ll do whatever I can to assist you in your paperwork once this case has shown progress.” The cadence of his voice makes him sound… desperate almost. You lean further back into your chair, mulling over his offer in your head.

“What do you need me to do?” You could’ve sworn you heard him give a sigh of relief at your question.

“Join me in my patrol of the areas we’re suspicious of. I asked captain Fowler and he informed me that you’re one of the detectives working late tonight. While not exhilarating, it may be a better way to spend your time.” You knew he was right, this case would save you from empty hours of checking the clock until you had to go home. Instead of taking his offer right away, however, you let him flounder for a second.

He looked calm and collected but the tight line of his lips and anxious darting of his eyes led you to believe otherwise. Seeing Connor unprepared and nervous was new, a great contrast from his usual demeanor of. It was almost cute but you didn’t allow your thoughts to wander that far.

Without a word you rose from your desk, shoes clicking softly on the floor as you glide past Connor. His head moves to follow you, eyes studying your movements curiously.

Stopping at the door you turn to him, “You comin’ or not? You’ve got—” you look at your watch quickly, “five hours until my shift is over. I’m not staying one minute after 1 AM unless you plan to pay me overtime.” You give him a soft smile, letting him know you aren’t irritated with him.

He returns your smile before making his way towards the door, “Of course, detective.”

 

* * *

 

Fully autonomous cars are a blessing, something that most people rely on. Your precinct was equipped with the latest technology, anything that would help when it came to solving crimes and upholding the law. Captain Fowler made sure of that, except for when it came to the patrol cars.

“There needs to be someone behind the wheel, paying attention. I know everyone’s going to bitch about it so don’t even bother. I need to make sure there are people still doing their jobs.” That was his logic behind having cars that still needed manual drivers. Normally, they didn’t bother you all that much, you even found yourself enjoying the drives.

Tonight wasn’t one of those nights.

You rolled your shoulders, trying to relieve the tension you held there from being in the car for two hours. Connor was in the passenger seat carefully looking over evidence and occasionally giving you vague directions. So far, none of the places the two of you patrolled seemed suspicious or out of order. It still beats doing paperwork you supposed.

You let out a quiet yawn, blinking your eyes rapidly afterward trying to get the tears out of your eyes. You hadn’t noticed how tired you were until that moment. The street lights becoming rhythmic as you drove by and your bones beginning to feel heavy. Bringing your unoccupied hand to your face you pushed the stray hair out of your eyes. Instead of watching the empty road your eyes focused on the flurries of snow hitting the window shield.  

“Are you okay, detective?” The sound of Connor’s voice makes you jump, you almost miss the concern that laced his voice.

“I’m fine. Just late is all.” The dim light of the dashboard shone on your face, allowing Connor to really see your eyes as he observed you. You had been in the office all day, usually one of the first detectives to arrive and one of the last to leave. Seeing the slight droop of your eyelids brought a pang to Connor’s chest. A blip of red flashed across his LED before blinking back to a steady yellow and then settling on blue. His jaw tensed slightly before he spoke again.

 _“Pull over.  Let me drive for awhile.”_ His voice was soft, comforting. You wondered how he could ever grimly pry a confession from someone with a voice like that. It was entirely too warm to be intimidating.

“I’m okay, really you—” you heard him say your name. It was the first time he had called you anything other than detective, your last name, or some variation of ‘officer’. Your steady breathing hitched for a small moment before returning to normal. Slowly you pulled your eyes away from the empty road in front of you, opting to instead gaze at Connor.

“Please. I can drive. Rest, I’ll drop you off afterwards.” After a few seconds, you nod. Pulling the car over to the side of the road. The sound of snow being pressed underneath the tires fills the silence between you two.

Gently you open your door and step out into the cold air. Connor mirror’s your actions, making his way to the driver’s side. You stop him before he enters the car, your hand ghosting over his forearm, barely keeping him in place. You notice the smooth fabric of his jacket and the feeling of warm flesh underneath it.

His eyes make their way to yours, the same flash of curiosity he so often has fading away into a softer expression.

“Thank you.” You rub your thumb gently into the crook of his arm before dropping your hand and heading over to the passenger side of the car. You can’t bring yourself to look at Connor, embarrassed slightly by your gesture of gratitude. Eyes following the snow as it gently hits the ground. A rosy color dusts your cheeks.


	2. It Reminded Me of You

_“It reminded me of you.”_

The small store you were in was warm compared to the cool air outside. Racks of professional clothes lined the narrow isles you walked through. You ran your hands over the front of a suit jacket you had been eyeing. You guessed you could’ve brought your old one – your favorite one – in to get sewn back together, but you’d rather just buy a completely new set.

You were out doing regular patrols a few nights ago with your partner Derrick. The two of you shooting the shit and chatting idly, not paying much attention to the world around you. After the president declared androids would be granted equal rights (even if it would take years for the laws to actually be enforced) crimes committed by androids had dropped exponentially, thus making your job a little easier.

Derrick had been informing you on his new apartment, griping about the lack of storage space and how they didn’t allow smoking inside. Head resting lazily in the palm of your hand you let your partner know you were listening by giving him a small reassuring hum in response.

Just before you could joke about his whining, you hear a gunshot ring out in the nearby alleyway.

“Pull over, let me go and look.” Your stern voice prompts Derrik to look at you with wide eyes.

“W-what? No! Let me come with you.”

“I’ll be fine. Call for backup if you want. I’m sure it’s nothing.” You pat his arm quickly before exiting the vehicle, hand instinctually going to the gun holstered at your side. You take a few steps into the dark alleyway, deciding against calling out into the blackness. Instead, you keep moving forward, peering around the labyrinth of stone walls, searching for the source of the gunshot.

You round the corner, listening intently for footsteps, breathing, anything that would give you an idea of who you were looking for. Suddenly in the corner of your vision, you see someone running, you feel the adrenaline start to pick up and run through your body.

“Hey!” The thrill of your voice bouncing around the small alley, carrying down to the person you were trying to identify. At the sound of your voice they sprint away from you. Your legs were carrying you before you had time to think.

They bounced between corridors, obviously trying to throw you off of their trail. The breaths you were letting out became more and more erratic as you were faced with more hurdles.

In your attempt to not lose speed on the suspect, you didn’t notice the metal pipe broken and hanging out from a dumpster. The pipe snagged on your suit jacket, tearing a jagged rip below your shoulder. A sharp sting panged through you, you were probably bleeding, but you didn’t have the time to worry about it.

The person made a sharp left turn towards the street, you thought they might get away before you saw two familiar faces practically clothesline the suspect. You allow your pace to slow to a soft jog as you caught up with them.

“Lieutenant, Connor. Nice to see you two.” Breaths coming out as uneven puffs between your words. Hank was wrestling with the runner, mumbling something about stupid kids.

“I hope you aren’t hurt, detective.” Connor reaches out for the cut in your jacket, taking a beat to analyze the damage.

“I’m good. Just take him to the station. He’ll probably be released, I just want to know why he was out shooting a gun at this hour.” Connor nods before glancing at Hank, who informs the two of you he’ll be waiting in the car.

Your forehead wrinkles in confusion as you shoot Connor a look. “Why are you guys here?”

“Officer Hess informed us of your situation. We were close by, so assisting you was not an inconvenience.” Good ol’ Derrick did come through after all. You let out a huff of air that slightly resembled a laugh.

“Okay. Well, thank you both for your help. I’m gonna go back and find Derrick. Thank you for saving my ass. I owe you two.” You smile before starting your way back to your patrol car.

Your mind snaps back to the situation at hand. As you reach out to take a jacket from the rack, you feel your arm pull in protest, still sore from the damage it had taken earlier in the week.

Before going up to the cashier to check out, you mindlessly wander the store for a little while longer. Did you need new shoes? Maybe an undershirt.

As you browse the isles you come across the neat section of ties tucked away in the corner. Eyes flicking between the numerous patterns and colors. There was no reason for you to buy a tie, but you were in no hurry to be done here so you allowed yourself to linger for a little while longer.

Hands running lightly over a few fancy looking ties you felt the smooth material of them when your eyes fell to a long piece of fabric unceremoniously slouched near the bottom of the shelf.

It was a light blue tie with small lines of matte fabric running through it. It made you think of Connor. Despite being deviant himself, he still wore that same jacket with ‘android’ written on the back, embellished with light blue details; the color matching the tie you held in your hands.

Without even thinking you add it to your small pile of clothing items, making your way to the front of the store to pay.

When the cashier asks if you want anything specially wrapped you nod your head, asking if it’d be okay to put the tie in a box.

* * *

 

The next morning you found yourself at work earlier than most other people. Typical, really. It allowed you to get work done in peace and hopefully you’d be able to get home early as a result (you knew that wasn’t going to happen but convinced yourself of it anyway.)

You tucked the box with Connor’s gift in it underneath your desk, deciding to give it to him when he got in.

A few hours had passed since you arrived at the station and your coworkers had been slowly trickling in. Engrossed in your work you hardly noticed Hank slump down into his desk a few feet away from you.

Putting down your data-pad, you stretch and rise to greet him, taking the box out from under your desk in the process.

“Hey, Hank. Do you know if Connor’s here yet?” You fidget under Hank’s gaze, his eyes drifting between you and the box in your hands.

“Good mornin’ to you too. He’s talkin’ to a witness right now. Should be back soon.” You nod to him, watching as he brings his hands to rest behind his head. You place the box down on Connor’s desk, rearranging it a few times so it looks like it was effortlessly tossed there.

“So. Nothing for me?” Hank says loudly towards you with a grin on his face.

“Drinks, Lieutenant. Drinks are the best I can do.” Your answer pulls a soft chuckle from him.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll take what I can get.” Childishly you stick your tongue out at him as you head towards the break room, you needed something to keep you going through the day.

Pouring a cup of lukewarm coffee into your mug, your mind was temporarily occupied with the news being softly broadcast on the tv. You stirred in a small amount of sugar and creamer, anything to help with the bland taste of the coffee. Footsteps could be heard lightly behind you, but you couldn’t be bothered to give anyone the time of day. You just wanted some silence, coffee, and a minute to breathe.

You feel a soft pull at your right shoulder, wincing slightly at the pain felt there. Annoyance bubbling in your chest, you turn to look at whoever was bothering you, a scowl prominent on your face.

“I’m sorry, I had no intention of hurting you. I didn’t realize the severity of your injuries.” The annoyance in your face instantly dissipates when you look at who was speaking to you.

Connor looked so worried; small almost in the way he was standing. One hand was hovering at his side, unsure as to what he should do to make you feel better, and his other hand clutched the tie you bought for him.

Your face reddened when you saw what he was holding, embarrassment suddenly taking over. You finally answered him after breathing his name in surprise.

“No, it’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m not too injured, just sore.” You pat your arm, doing your best to prove that everything was indeed alright. His eyes followed your movement, resting on your arm and then to your eyes. He gave you a light smile.

He then gestured to the tie in his hand, “Hank told me to come and see you. He informed me that you left this on my desk. I was wondering why.” Curiosity dripped from his lips and you found your eyes lingering there for a second too long.

If you weren’t embarrassed before you definitely were now. You could feel the beat of your heart grow more erratic.

“I just wanted to thank you for the other night. Without you, Derrick and I wouldn’t have been able to catch that guy.” You open your palm, indicating for Connor to give you the tie.

“Plus, _it reminded me of you_.” You position yourself to stand in front of him.

“All I ever see you wear is the same tie, every day. Thought this might look good on you.” Your fingers trail lightly up his chest before coming to the knot of his black tie. Nervously, look up into his eyes.

Him peering down at you sent a spark through you, running the length of your spine. His face was beautifully curious; his lips every so slightly parted, his brows knit together.

“Do you mind if I take this one off?” You give a slight tug to the tie he was currently wearing. He wordlessly shakes his head, still watching you intently as you loosen the article of clothing. You pull until his tie is all the way off, folding it neatly and handing it back to him. The small rise and fall of his chest gets faster when your hands brush but you’re too concerned with controlling your own breathing to notice his.

He says your name and you hum back as a reply.

“This wasn’t necessary. I have a few other articles of clothing that I can choose to wear, I just find my presence is most accepted in the workplace when wearing my normal attire.” He nervously grips at the tie that you handed him. He didn’t fully understand why he was so nervous to be this close to you. You weren’t a threat, and out of everyone in the office besides Hank, you treated him the best.

You laughed lightly, wrapping the blue tie around his neck. Connor really enjoyed the sound of your laugh.

“I’m trying to thank you, you dork.”

“I assure you, there’s no need—”

“Hey. Just accept it okay?” Your voice was softer than you intended as you finish adjusting the tie, letting your hand lightly brush down his chest again.

Connor found himself so fascinated by your touch. Hank has hugged him before and he’s had some handsy women grab at him harshly when conducting interviews, but your touch was different. It was soft – inviting. It made him feel like he's supposed to be at the station, close to you.

He feels a deep burn settling in his chest that he recognizes as disappointment when you step away from him.

“I was right. It looks good on you.” You cross your arms over your chest. Connor both enjoys and dreads the way you’re analyzing him; he wonders if this is how others feel when he takes in their details.

He can only let out a quiet, “thank you, detective.” He didn’t trust his voice to say anything else.

You give him a smile in return, moving past him to grab your coffee. With a small quick look back at him, you turn and leave the break room, settling back in at your desk.

Connor lets out a deep breath before following your actions. When he situates himself back at his desk, he notices Hank eyeing him.

“Is there anything you need Lieutenant?”

Hank’s eyes flick between Connor and yourself. He lets the silence sit comfortably for a minute before answering.

“Nah.” Hank waits until Connor is focused to finish his sentence in a low voice he’s almost certain no one will hear. “You look… _happy_ is all.”

Connor only smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> somehow these snippets are turning into long chapters... oh well~ I'm trying to keep this as one looong continuous story, but we'll see how well that works!  
> also! thank you so much for your kind words so far, it means a lot to me!  
> (not beta'd so if there are any awful mistakes lemme know)  
> Prompts can be found here: http://p0ck3tf0x.tumblr.com/post/98502010026/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you  
> Join me on Tumblr: delsinsrowes.tumblr.com (pester me just in case I'm ever late to upload)


	3. No, No It's My Treat

_“No, no it’s my treat.”_

A few days after the tie incident Hank took you up on your offer for drinks. If you were being honest, you’d been looking forward to it all week. Work had been getting the best of you, your long hours getting longer; you felt as if you might as well live at the station.

So when Hank came up to your desk and said he’d do his best to help you look a little less like hell, you had no reason to deny him.

He had left an hour earlier than you, saying that you knew where to find him after your shift was over.

He now found himself slouched over in the nearby bar, one the two of you had decided on. The atmosphere was quiet, dark, and inviting; the perfect place to let off some steam, he concluded. In his hands held a beer, he’d been nursing it for a little while now, droplets running down the side from how warm it was getting.

Connor sat at his right, obviously still uncomfortable with the idea of taking off early from work – but Fowler didn’t complain, so he guessed they weren’t needed anyway.

When he gave you the information of where to meet him, he slyly left out the details of it being an android friendly bar and that Connor would be joining. There was something between the two of you, whether or not it would amount to anything he didn’t know, he couldn’t even begin to understand if it could even logistically work, but he sure as hell was curious enough to stir up some trouble.

“So. I’ve been noticin’ you eyeing one of our detectives. Wanna tell me about that?” Hank leans into Connor a small bit, looking over to him, waiting for a reaction.

“I’m unsure as to what you mean.” Connor tilts his head in Hank’s direction, his forehead slightly scrunched in a confused expression.

“Oh, c’mon. Don’t play dumb with me, you’re a walking, talking supercomputer. You’re buying each other gifts now.” Hank nods down at the tie hanging from Connor’s neck.

He lightly straightens it instinctually, thinking everything over.

“I… am still unsure of your inquiry. We are simply partners working together, I was informed that this was a way of showing thanks.” Connor’s LED blinks yellow for a split second, trying to find the deeper meaning of Hank’s tone. It sounded teasing but also warm, knowing.

“Mmhm. I’m sure.” Hank brought his beer up to his mouth for a swig, trying to cover up his smirk. Before he could say anything else the door to the bar opened, the chilly air bringing his attention to the patron who walked in.

“Ah. Speak of the devil.”

When you walk in you see Connor at the bar, both of his hands gripping the sides of a glass, his gaze focused on the blue liquid in it. His suit jacket laid over the back of his chair, hair falling softly into his face, messily different from its usual perfect placement. He looked so good, so human. He made the normal mundane act of just living so incredibly intriguing. It took your breath away.

Connor’s eyes lift to meet yours, you feel frozen under his gaze until Hank speaks up.

“Glad you could finally make it, I was startin’ to get bored with just this one.” Hank nudges Connor, finally taking his eyes away from yours.

You make your way over to Hank who was now standing, arms stretched out to greet you in a hug. It’s warm, engulfing you for only seconds before he pulls away.

Behind him, you see Connor. Standing with his arms by his side, watching the two of you, an unsure look on his face. Should you hug him?

You don’t give yourself time to overthink, instead stepping forward until you’re in front of Connor, your arms going around his sides and snaking up his back quickly. You feel the soft press of his hand near the small of your back, the action sending a buzz of warmth through you. You’re so close you can hear the faint artificial beat of his Thirium regulator. You notice that it’s pumping faster than a normal human heart rate would. You file that detail away, deciding to ask Connor about it later.

All too quickly you feel him pull away, his fingers gracing the back of your arms in the process. You go to sit on Hank’s left, shedding your coat and placing it on the back of your chair.

“How was work?” Connor’s voice is quiet as he leans forward, looking at you past Hank.

You sigh instead of giving a real answer and flag down the bartender.

“A rum and coke, please.” You give the man behind the counter a warm but quick smile as he fills your glass and hands it to you. You take one long draw from it.

Hank lets out a booming laugh. “That bad huh?”

“You shouldn’t have to ask. You know better than anyone how stressful work can be.”

“That’s true and why I invited you out tonight. Let’s forget about work.” Hank smiles over at you and you return it. Clinking your glasses together and raising them slightly.

You take another sip of your drink, never noticing the way Connor studies your lips, fascinated by the look of them and the way the tip of your tongue lightly teases the edge of your glass. Raw heat spreads throughout his entire body.

“How’s Sumo?” You question after putting your drink down with an exhale.

“Good, still lazy as ever. He has everyone’s dream job of laying at home and sleeping.”

“I love him, can’t wait to see him again. Are you actually taking him outside and walking him, or did you give up on your health kick already?” You nudge Hank with your elbow while your other hand runs circles around the edge of your glass.

Hank huffs a breath of faux annoyance before answering, “Actually, Connor’s been walkin’ him. They seem to like each other.” You lean your body over the bar-top slightly, angling yourself to get a better look at Connor.

“Aw, how cute,” you comment, smiling cheekily. He smiles, shifting his body towards the two of you a little more.

“I enjoy walking him. When Hank and I get home in the evening he’s quite excited, we’ve started a routine.” You took note of the way Connor subtly talked with his hands, palms opening and closing, and the tips of his fingers running lightly along the edge of his cuff rolled up along his forearms.

“So, you stay with Hank?” The sip you take of your drink burns deep in your throat, you feel the familiar warmth of alcohol spread throughout your body.

“Yes. Since the aftermath of the uprising, Hank has been kind enough to let me stay with him. Coming home to someplace is very nice.” Connor’s eyes flick over to Hank, who’s peering down at his beer with a small smile. If you didn’t know Hank better you would’ve missed it.

“Yeah, I must say, having someone to remind me about work is both shitty and a good thing.” Connor gives a slight one-sided smile.

Abruptly, Hank looks down at his phone and sighs.

“Well, kiddos, duty calls. The station needs me for some evidence review.” Before standing he downs what little beer is left in his bottle and tosses some dollars on the counter.

“What, this late? I just got here, tell Fowler you have shit to do.” The disappointment in your voice was clear and you had no intentions of hiding it.

He mirrors your previous words, letting his shoulders slump a small bit, “You know better than anyone how shitty of a situation that’ll put me in. I’ll make it up to you.”

Connor begins standing, taking his jacket from the back of his chair, but gets interrupted by Hank.

“You don’t have to join me, it’ll be quick. Just take a cab to the house.” He rests his hand on Connor’s shoulder before patting your back and heading out to leave.

The two of you wave as Hank makes his way out the door, watching him disappear into the chilly night.

You blow a puff of air from your mouth before raising your head and bouncing your way over a seat, smiling at Connor and sliding your drink along the bar with you.

“So, how’s living with Hank, really?” A facetious tone replacing your previous dreary one, trying to lighten the mood.

“I quite like it. Hank is very kind, sometimes he expresses annoyance to his coworkers about my living with him, but when we are at home he doesn’t seem to mind.” His shoulders are slumped forward slightly, different from his usual posture. He seemed relaxed, happy maybe if you allowed yourself to analyze him deeply enough.

“Sounds like him. It took a couple of months for him to warm up to me. Before you joined our department Hank almost never showed up, always late, always complaining—”

Connor let out an airy laugh and you almost couldn’t believe it. You turned your head quickly to look over at him, your lips still parted in a vague attempt to hide your surprise. Connor’s mouth was turned up in a soft smile. You almost didn’t hear what he was saying over the sound of your heartbeat booming in your ears.

“Sounds like not much has changed then.” He turns to look at you, blinking a couple of times while taking in your expression.

You brush the small amount of hair that had fallen out of your face, breaking eye contact with him to stare at nothing on the bar-top, laughing lightly.

The bartender makes his way over to the two of you, tipping his head in your drinks direction silently asking if you’d like a refill. You nod back and mutter your thanks, turning then to Connor and speaking up.

“What about you, want anything else, another drink maybe?” You notice Connor’s almost empty glass.

“I’m good, thanks though.” The casualness in his voice intrigued you. At work, he was analytical, cold in a way that distanced him from the world. When he was around other officers, the ones that have always been cynical of androids being anything other than robots to aid humans in an easier living, he was rigid; never voicing opinions, always doing what he was told and speaking in a cadence that reminded you that he was indeed an android. But here in the comfort of this place, outside of the station and snide remarks, he was so human. Warm in the way he spoke and less methodical in his wording. You wanted to see Connor like this more often, you wondered what he was like at home.

You spoke before thinking, surprising both Connor and yourself when your timid voice broke out over the soft music radiating throughout the bar.

“Why do you do that?” Connor’s face draws up in a confused expression and you try to explain yourself.

“Act differently at the station, I mean. Right now you seem so…” you let your words drift, unsure of how to finish that sentence. Connor speaks up, relieving you of the weight of your own words.

“I… don’t really know. I believe it’s because I’m still trying to understand who I am. I am an android and I was programmed to do a job and I still have a reliance on my programming. But… I’m also still trying to understand how I feel, what I like and _why_ I like those things, and how to communicate in a way that lets other people know I feel sadness, hurt, and regret just like they do. Being talked down to used to result in no emotion, now however…” he pauses. You keep your gaze on him, not daring to say anything that would interrupt his train of thought.

“I get why people would quit this job. I find it to be quite stressful.” He’s looking down at his drink, one hand swishing the small amount of blue liquid left in his glass, the other flattening his perfectly placed tie – the tie you bought for him.

You can’t help but throw your head back and laugh at his conclusion.

Connor glanced at you, marveling in the way your laugh traveled throughout the bar.

“Please don’t ever quit, I’d be so bored.” You can’t help but lean into him, nudging your elbow slightly towards his chest.

As if on instinct Connor presses against you slightly, chasing the heat of your skin on his. Your cheeks were rosy from the alcohol in your system, your smile bright and warm. If he was capable of feeling lightheaded he would be; instead, his systems informed him that his body temperature was rising.

You notice the way he’s staring down at you, lips parted and eyes curious, and you can’t help but back away, feeling embarrassed by the intensity of his eyes and the way they’re looking you over.

“Uh, so.” You clear your throat lightly, “what do you do in your free time? Besides making sure Hank’s life doesn’t fall apart.”

He gives you a slight smile before answering, “I kept in contact with Markus after the uprising. I visit him every so often. He’s been helpful and understanding with the struggles that have come with my deviancy.” You notice the way the tips of his fingers ghost over the lines of wetness running down the side of his glass.

“I’ve always been a big advocate for android rights and stuff. I think it would be cool to meet him sometime.”

Connor nods his head, not looking at you, “I’m sure I could arrange a meeting.”

“Hey Connor,” you turn your body towards him more, your chest almost touching the part of his arm not covered by his shirt.

He briefly stops his small fidgeting and gives you his full attention, thinking only for a second about the way you say his name.

“I’m really happy to be working with you, and I hope you consider me enough of a friend to come to if you ever need anything.” You give him a genuine smile, placing your hand near his bicep trying desperately to convey how much you care for him.

Connor can only hold your gaze, he recognizes the authenticity in your voice.

“Of course. I only hope you’ll do the same for me.” He’s so close now you take in the details of his face. Pulling your eyes away from his, you let them wander across his lips, over the plains of his face. He’s so perfect it makes you feel self-conscious.

You rattle out a lame, “yeah” in response to him, taking your hand off of its resting place. You check your watch and give a puff of disappointment.

“I should probably head home, it’s getting late. Uh—” you dig through the pockets of your jacket until you pull out your phone. “I know you have my work number, but take this one too, just in case you ever need to reach me.” Connor reaches out to your phone, taking it quickly glancing at it and then handing it back to you. His LED blinking yellow in the process.

Connor says your name gently and you look down at him from your standing position, “Thank you for tonight. Seeing you outside of our regular work setting has been very interesting.”

“Oh, only interesting?” Your voice is teasing, but Connor still feels his stomach sway at the thought of disappointing you somehow.

“I—I just mean—” Connor, _stumbling_ over his words? This was so unlike him, and so… cute.

“Hey, dork. I was just kidding. I agree, it has been interesting, and we should do something like this again.” You shrug on your jacket and fish out your wallet, grabbing a few loose bills and setting them on the bar-top to pay for both of your drinks.

Suddenly, you feel a warm steady hand cover yours and you drag your eyes up to look at Connor.

“Don’t worry about it, _it’s my treat_.” His soft but assertive voice sends a small tingle through your body, starting at where your hands meet.

It was your turn to stutter, “I—uh. Thank you.” Slowly, you pull your hand away and head towards the door. Before exiting you look over your shoulder, “See you tomorrow, detective.” With that, you step out in the cold air, leaving Connor sitting at the bar.

He’s in no rush to leave, enjoying the silence and being able to think.

He truly did enjoy the time he spent with you, and the longer he was around you the stronger the ache in his chest grew.

He ran diagnostics, again and again, knowing full well that nothing was wrong with him or his software. What he was feeling was pure emotion and that both scared and excited him. The ache settling deep within him didn’t hurt, it felt weirdly exhilarating, empowering. Every time you said his name or teased him or touched him he felt warm; like the blood flowing through his body wanted to get out.

He sighed, putting his head in one of his hands, leaning his weight onto the bar.

Hank was right he was a ‘walking, talking supercomputer,’ so when it came to emotions, he understood them from a technical standpoint. Years and years of psychological developments implanted into his memory, he knew about fear and guilt, how to trigger them and regulate them. He could give chemical breakdowns for neurotransmitters firing throughout human bodies and what bodily functions are affected by emotions. But he didn’t know the details of his own emotions. They can’t be just errors in software anymore, errors were supposed to be wrong, unwanted, something that needed fixing. None of the things he felt, even the fear of dying, was something he wanted to erase, they made his heart race in a way he didn’t know was possible. He didn’t know much about romantic feelings, or their difference in severity in comparison to platonic relationships, but he did know one thing; you made him feel truly alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter took so long to get out, E3 happened! I hope you enjoy it and it was worth waiting for. If not, lemme know what I can do differently~  
> Thank you to everyone who leaves sweet comments, it really helps me!  
> (not beta'd so if there are any awful mistakes lemme know)  
> Join me on Tumblr: delsinsrowes.tumblr.com (pester me just in case I'm ever late to upload)


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